You want to know why I haven't been blogging? I just haven't been in a blogging mood. What with me finishing my university degree and having to start a new chapter of my life... I've been feeling very introspective and, dare I say it, emo. Every little thing makes me ponder, think and sometimes brood (and we all know that brooding should be reserved for tall, dark haired and part-time evil vampires). Even simple questions like "What are your plans today?" fill me with dread, let alone being asked what I'm planning now that I've finished my B.Ed. Sure, I have a plan. But how will that plan work out? Believe me, I have no idea.
Anyway, I feel like I'm cheating you all out of a good blog. Cause all I do now-a-days is whine like a petulant teenager. And really, that's no fun for anyone.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
It's been a while...
Yeah, it's been a while. I wasn't really i a blogging mood. I was sad for a while. Then I was busy. I'm still busy, but no long as sad, I think. University is just about finished (I have 4 days of field experience, one assignment and one exam left). The Grad Ball is coming up in 2 weeks and then there's my Convocation on June first (my friend should be coming from Calgary for that!). I'm really excited/nervous/anxious about going out into the real world, as a real adult, with an actual degree and a supposed purpose in life.
When I went to school, I did just that. Everyday (or so). It was my purpose, my goal, I had a clear idea of what I was meant to do everyday (or so). But now, I'm done with (formal) education. I'm a responsible adult who needs a job and eventually an apartment... and isn't THAT a scary thought?
I know, my posts are sooo emo. Bear with me...
I'm really new at this responsible adult thing. I still don't consider myself an adult and I'm somewhat startled when I'm told that I am one. I mean, really.
Well, enough whining, I suppose. Would you like to know what I've been up to? Let's see. My last post was in November... Since then, I've:
Oh, and I'm sick.
Good night!
When I went to school, I did just that. Everyday (or so). It was my purpose, my goal, I had a clear idea of what I was meant to do everyday (or so). But now, I'm done with (formal) education. I'm a responsible adult who needs a job and eventually an apartment... and isn't THAT a scary thought?
I know, my posts are sooo emo. Bear with me...
I'm really new at this responsible adult thing. I still don't consider myself an adult and I'm somewhat startled when I'm told that I am one. I mean, really.
Well, enough whining, I suppose. Would you like to know what I've been up to? Let's see. My last post was in November... Since then, I've:
- I moved into my own apartment, kind of, upstairs from my parents
- Celebrated Christmas. It was nice.
- Celebrated my 25th birthday. It was super nice. I had my family and friends (some from California!) help me celebrate at a fantastic Portuguese restaurant called Porto Mar. You should go.
- Started my last semester EVER at McGill for my B.Ed. I was missing three credits, so I had to pile on an extra class. I'm managing it well, so far.
- I went to the Big Apple, NYC for the first time for a friend's birthday.
- Learned to hate something called a SPEAQ Quest. Hate it SO MUCH. FUCK THE SPEAQ QUEST was our motto and I stand by it.
- I learned to hate group work. As well meaning as everyone is, work is never divided equally. It's no one's fault, really, but ultimately there's one person who does more work.
- I started my final field experience (and only have four days left).
- I've learned to enjoy reading my favourite novels for the second, third, fourth time.
- I've learned that a little slash fanfic isn't a bad thing.
- I've rediscovered the joys of Stars Hollow.
- I'm still cleaning my room.
Oh, and I'm sick.
Good night!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
My goals
My (short term) goals are as follows:
1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Let's look at these one by one, starting with... well... the first one.
1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
Okay, for my room to be perfectly clean, I have to clean it, right? Well, I'm trying. I really am. I'm up to what, part six of my room cleaning saga? This is a goal I can control, and I am controlling it. I'm setting some time aside as often as possible to clean as much as I can. As I clean, instead of just moving things from one side of the room to the other, I'm actually packing it in boxes and reusable bags. This way, I can easily stack, store, and (later) find my books and DVDs (which seem to be the stuff of which I have too much). This way, everything has it's place and it's place isn't randomly strewn around my room. This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
Ahh, this old thing. Yep, the weight thing. So, I'm fat. I'm not delusional about this, it's a fact and I'm okay with it. Well.. not really, if I want to lose weight, right? This is a health thing, not a vanity thing. I'm out of breath all this time, my knees hurt, my heart beats so freaken quickly... I'm too young to have all these problems. Also, I have an awesome tattoo that NO ONE SEES because I'm too ashamed of my fat belly to show it off. So I'm eating better, not dieting. Dieting is a deprivation of certain foods. I'm not ready to (nor do I think I have to) cut out whole items from my daily menus. Instead, I'm eating less bad stuff and more good stuff and making better choices in my day to day life. I'm also exercising more. I'm not going to the gym because a) I'm poor and b) I don't think I need to go to the gym right now. Gyms are great for those with time and money and I have neither at the moment. We have an elliptical at home and if I use it more and walk the dog more, then I think that'll be enough for now! This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
I think this may be the easiest of the goals to accomplish. Now a days, anyone can write and then self publish a book. The thing is, I don't want to be a self-published author. I want to be a real author. A good author. I want to write something that people who are not my family and friends will buy, read, and love. My mom says all I need to do is get an idea and run with it, but that's a lot easier said than done. I mean, if it were easy, I'd have already done it. My mother raised a good point by asking my what kind of book I want to write. Well, I have no idea. Whatsoever. Not a clue. But, if I persevere, I might actually succeed. This is a goal that I am in (somewhat) control of. I can achieve it, if I try.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Seriously, this is a possibility. It would be a DREAM COME TRUE in more ways than one. I'd be teaching in Asia. This could open up a whole new bunch of possibilities: I'd have my foot in the door of a teaching job in Asia. Also, I'd be going to Asia on my school's dime, which really isn't that terrible of thing, is it? Hong Kong is a beautiful city. I really want to be chosen for this... That's right. Chosen. This is NOT a goal that I am in control of. I've written my letter of intent and all I can do is hope that it gets me an interview. After that, I can just pray that I've impressed them enough to pick me as one of the lucky 8 people from TESL to go. I hope I can achieve it.
1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Let's look at these one by one, starting with... well... the first one.
1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
Okay, for my room to be perfectly clean, I have to clean it, right? Well, I'm trying. I really am. I'm up to what, part six of my room cleaning saga? This is a goal I can control, and I am controlling it. I'm setting some time aside as often as possible to clean as much as I can. As I clean, instead of just moving things from one side of the room to the other, I'm actually packing it in boxes and reusable bags. This way, I can easily stack, store, and (later) find my books and DVDs (which seem to be the stuff of which I have too much). This way, everything has it's place and it's place isn't randomly strewn around my room. This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
Ahh, this old thing. Yep, the weight thing. So, I'm fat. I'm not delusional about this, it's a fact and I'm okay with it. Well.. not really, if I want to lose weight, right? This is a health thing, not a vanity thing. I'm out of breath all this time, my knees hurt, my heart beats so freaken quickly... I'm too young to have all these problems. Also, I have an awesome tattoo that NO ONE SEES because I'm too ashamed of my fat belly to show it off. So I'm eating better, not dieting. Dieting is a deprivation of certain foods. I'm not ready to (nor do I think I have to) cut out whole items from my daily menus. Instead, I'm eating less bad stuff and more good stuff and making better choices in my day to day life. I'm also exercising more. I'm not going to the gym because a) I'm poor and b) I don't think I need to go to the gym right now. Gyms are great for those with time and money and I have neither at the moment. We have an elliptical at home and if I use it more and walk the dog more, then I think that'll be enough for now! This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
I think this may be the easiest of the goals to accomplish. Now a days, anyone can write and then self publish a book. The thing is, I don't want to be a self-published author. I want to be a real author. A good author. I want to write something that people who are not my family and friends will buy, read, and love. My mom says all I need to do is get an idea and run with it, but that's a lot easier said than done. I mean, if it were easy, I'd have already done it. My mother raised a good point by asking my what kind of book I want to write. Well, I have no idea. Whatsoever. Not a clue. But, if I persevere, I might actually succeed. This is a goal that I am in (somewhat) control of. I can achieve it, if I try.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Seriously, this is a possibility. It would be a DREAM COME TRUE in more ways than one. I'd be teaching in Asia. This could open up a whole new bunch of possibilities: I'd have my foot in the door of a teaching job in Asia. Also, I'd be going to Asia on my school's dime, which really isn't that terrible of thing, is it? Hong Kong is a beautiful city. I really want to be chosen for this... That's right. Chosen. This is NOT a goal that I am in control of. I've written my letter of intent and all I can do is hope that it gets me an interview. After that, I can just pray that I've impressed them enough to pick me as one of the lucky 8 people from TESL to go. I hope I can achieve it.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Inspiration
My friend just started blogging (you should check her out), which has inspired me to start again. I really do enjoy blogging: it's cathartic and I always feel better afterward. So here it goes:
Okay, firstly, I am so proud of my friends (they know who they are). One has his dream job, one is moving in with her boyfriend, one is going back to school, one is getting married. I'm so happy for them, for all of my friends. They all deserve happiness, that's for sure.
Then there's another friend who does nothing but complain about her life, about how nothing ever goes her way, about how everything just sucks. She is the one who really inspired me today. I've decided to do the same. I'll sit at home on the computer all night and pretend to look for a job all day and wonder why I have no life. I'll refuse to make any changes to my personality and lifestyle even though it is obviously not working for me. I'll dwell on the fact that everyone's life is going so much better than mine and, well, that must be everyone else's fault, not mine.
Or, ya know, I can not. I can live. I can be happy for my friends knowing that they are happy for me and my accomplishments. Yes, I'm a little jealous that their lives seem to be working out a little better than mine, but I know for a fact that they are sometimes jealous of my life. I've got good things going for me: I'm on my way to a stable career, I travel, I go out, I enjoy life, I've got a good family (even if they drive me crazy at times), I've got good friends (even if they drive me crazy at times). I've got a good life. And I love living it.
Okay, firstly, I am so proud of my friends (they know who they are). One has his dream job, one is moving in with her boyfriend, one is going back to school, one is getting married. I'm so happy for them, for all of my friends. They all deserve happiness, that's for sure.
Then there's another friend who does nothing but complain about her life, about how nothing ever goes her way, about how everything just sucks. She is the one who really inspired me today. I've decided to do the same. I'll sit at home on the computer all night and pretend to look for a job all day and wonder why I have no life. I'll refuse to make any changes to my personality and lifestyle even though it is obviously not working for me. I'll dwell on the fact that everyone's life is going so much better than mine and, well, that must be everyone else's fault, not mine.
Or, ya know, I can not. I can live. I can be happy for my friends knowing that they are happy for me and my accomplishments. Yes, I'm a little jealous that their lives seem to be working out a little better than mine, but I know for a fact that they are sometimes jealous of my life. I've got good things going for me: I'm on my way to a stable career, I travel, I go out, I enjoy life, I've got a good family (even if they drive me crazy at times), I've got good friends (even if they drive me crazy at times). I've got a good life. And I love living it.
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