Rocky Horror Picture Show: recast

I've put A LOT of thought into this post.

As most of you know, I recently attended a Rocky Horror Picture Show performance for the first time. It was mind blowing and hilarious. "The Voice" made some of the funniest comments... including (when Frank Furter is dead in the pool) "Look! It's Steve Jobs! I guess that's what happens when you bob for apples..." Okay, you might think it's too soon, but I nearly pissed myself laughing.

So here's the deal: all this Halloween and RHPS talk made me think to a rumor I heard a in 2008 about a remake. MTV was planning its release around Halloween 2009, but I guess that never worked out. There was talk (mostly unfounded, I think) of it starring Zac Effron. That, in my opinion, is just plain wrong.

I bet I've got you all thinking about who would be the perfect actor to star in a RHPS remake... and that's what's been stuck in my head too! Let me tell you, this was tough. For some characters, I had maybe half a dozen possible choices. For others, there was only one clear image in my mind. I should also point out that imagining the new possible actors in the original costumes help sway my decision. And picturing certain actors as Dr Frank Furter was surprisingly *hot*.

So here's my dream cast:

Brad (Asshole) Majors: The original Brad was played by Barry Bostwick. He's your typical all American type, who ends up being a little slutty. Bostwick had a clean-cut look about him which worked nicely, as Asshole Majors was a little bit of a helpless geek. Who could do this character justice? Matt Damon? Neil Patrick Harris? All valid choices. All under consideration. All not quite right, in my opinion... So who is? None other than Justin Timberlake. Just look at him! The little nerd already has the glasses! Can you picture him in tighty-whities for most of the film? Or in the corset/heels/fishnets towards the end? Timberlake has made quite a name for himself as an actor in recent years, appearing in films like The Social Network, Bad Teacher and, most recently In Time (which looks really good, by the way). His many appearances on Saturday Night Live have shown the world that he can be funny. And a major plus is that he can sing.

Janet (Slut) Weiss: Dammit, Janet! Susan Sarandon portrayed this innocent, repressed good girl... that is, until she portrayed the sexy, sex obsessed naughty girl. The female half of the "poor, innocent, easily corruptible" couple, Weiss recognizes the benefits of a little sexual experimentation before marriage. I want the new actress to be more than just sexy. She needs to have talent, both in acting and singing (as this is a musical after all). Again, a lot of names went through my mind: Claire Danes, Kiera Knightly, Kirsten Dunst... but I settled on Zooey Deschanel. She can sing, she can act, she's adorable and sexy all at the same time. 

Dr Frank-N-Furter: Possibly Tim Cury's most recognizable role, Frank is just a sweet transvestite, a mad scientist who preaches the delights of carnal pleasure. He also is the one to sing my life motto... Don't dream it. Be it. It's a great way to lead life. So who, in my hours of imagining actors in lingerie, would be the perfect, modern Transexual Transylvanian? Many, MANY men crossed my mind. Let me list a few: Hugh Jackman, Paul Rudd, Nathan Fillion, Tom Hanks, James Franco, Ben Affleck, David Boreanaz... All these gentlemen would look EXCEPTIONAL in a black bustier and matching panties. Let's all take a moment to think about it. Still thinking. Still thinking. Now, wipe the drool off your face! Yeah, so I'm picking this one for pure pleasure and "yum" factor. Mr David Duchovny, why won't you love me? Well, I love you. And I'd *love* you as that hot-dog, Frank Furter.

Rocky Horror: Rocky is Frank's hot creation, his sex toy, someone he created just for the pleasure of it. Peter Hinwood's replacement has to be a knock out, a perfect 10. It may not be a big speaking part, but I think it takes a lot of talent to grunt efficiently! Ryan Reynolds may not just be a pretty face, but in my ideal RHPS remake, he would be. And he would look so damn good in gold short-shorts. Once again, lets all picture it. *drool*

Riff Raff: Honestly, no moral earthling can play this role as well as Richard O'Brien. What's he up to now, you may be wondering? Well, he's the voice of the dad on Disney's Phineas and Ferb. How cool is that? Anyway, back to the character. Riff Raff was a creepy, quiet alien who only showed his true colours at the end. I think this character might have given me the most trouble. There was only one name for a long time, but it wasn't the right one. Seth Rogen. I know, I know, not the perfect Riff Raff. I'm not arguing with you! And then, as I was looking over my list of possible Brads, I fell upon the perfect guy. Now he's usually the comedic lead, known for his timing and delivery, but I think Jason Segel could pull off a quiet, creepy, freakishly tall supporting role.

Magenta: As Riff Raff's alien sister, Patricia Quinn as Magenta (and the famous RHPS lips) put on her French maid's outfit and wowed us all with a sexual, seductive, accented voice and a penchant for letting her brother make out with her. There were two names that were strong front runners here. Both are incredibly talented, both are incredibly sexy, both would look fantastic in both a French maid's outfit and a silver space suit. In the end, I went with Sara Ramirez with Mila Kunis as the understudy. 

Columbia: The groupie, lover of Eddie, Frank and Magenta (or maybe that was just a fooling around thing?), Columbia is full of energy and comedic genius. In my eyes, only Emma Caulfield can fill this role. Have you seen the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? In it, she sings a song (with Xander (Brendon Nicholas)) and I think that's the energy needed for Columbia. Plus, Emma would look really good in rainbow shorts and a gold sequin tailcoat.

Eddie: Ahh, Meatloaf. It's what's for dinner! This ex-delivery boy, who lent half his brain to Rocky Horror, makes one hell of an entrance on a motorcycle. James Martsers would make a great Eddie. Even though it's only a tiny, one song role, he would bring a certain rock'n'roll/badassness to the part. And let's be honest, who wouldn't mind eating him (if you know what I mean)?

Dr Scott: Cue the toilet paper! Dr Scott, a rival scientist, is Eddie's uncle. he comes to the castle looking for answers concerning Eddie's disappearance. He's also the professor who introduces Brad and Janet to one another. I would need a distinguished and well versed actor for this role: one who isn't afraid of singing and is capable of doing so in an accent. Though he's stuck in a wheelchair for most of the film, he does show off his fishnet clad gams at the end. Who's gams would I like to see instead? Patrick Stewart's, I think. Did I mention that picturing these new actors in the RHPS costume was my favourite part of trying to find the perfect player for each part of the process?

The Criminologist: The expert who retells Brad and Janet's story with helpful visual aids and dictionary definitions. He's a minor character, but he plays an integral role in the film. William Shatner would bring authority and a little mockery tot he role.

Well, that's my ideal cast. Let me know, in the comments, if you agree or disagree.

Costumes

Halloween is fast approaching and, and this is my first year actually working in an elementary school as a real teacher (I don't count all my years tutoring because in 4 years I was only there on Halloween once). This is also the first year my friends and I are going to a performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm super excited about both things, but there is a downside. I need two costumes this year! What might be appropriate for one situation may not be for the other.

I had so many ideas for my school costume. I was really excited about each of them but I think I'm more excited about the final product (probably because I spent very little money on it haha). At school, I am going to be a cowgirl. I have black cowboy boots (a hand-me-down from my uncle, I'd call 'em vintage, even); a jean skirt; a black short sleeve button down blouse and all I'm missing is the hat. I have a friend who may lend me one, if we can figure out when and where to meet. If not, I think I trip to Walmart is in order... or even back downtown to one of the three costume shops I visited today.

Speaking of school, we're having a few events in honour of Halloween on Monday. The 5th graders organized a type of haunted house for grades one through four. They're really excited by it and, honestly, so am I. It means that's one class I don't have to prepare. At first, I was upset that I was losing English time... but the more I think about it the more I realize that all it means is less preparation for me.

After the haunted house, grades five and six are putting on a little show: they learned the Thriller dance. They've been practicing since mid September and are really anxious about the performance. Knowing this, I've been allowing students who finish their work early to practice the dance for the last five or ten minutes of class. To tie in the dance to English class, and to guarantee their interest and motivation, I've decided that their Halloween activity will be ordering the lyrics to the song.

At lunch, we're having a potluck. I'm making macaroni and cheese cupcakes, which I've made once before last year's TESL potluck. I liked them a lot and I was able to modify the recipe to make it lactose free. Their bite size and pretty good at room temperature. I'm looking forward to the other dishes!

After lunch, we're having a fundraiser: a dessert auction amongst the teachers. I'm most excited about this. I'm making an apple, chocolate and walnut cake. My sister started making this cake about 15 years ago. My grandmother liked it so much she started making it regularly. I absolutely adore it and I think it'll rake in big bucks (like, maybe 20$).

In the afternoon, there's a school wide bingo thing going on. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing for that...

Finally, Monday night, I'm going to a Rocky Horror Picture Show presentation at the Imperial theater. I'm going dressed as Magenta, The Domestic. I have the same black button as my cowboy outfit; a black skirt; an apron and a little head band/hat thing. I'm just wondering how much effort I want to put on my makeup. I've read some tips, seen some tutorial videos and everything seems to point to this being an expensive endeavor. I think the only thing I'll actually invest in a set of false lashes. They're reusable and, unlike makeup in colours I'll never wear again, I might actually find use for these for another event.

Happy Halloween!

Carisolo/Madonna di Campiglio

Oh. My. God. I'm living IN the mountains these next two weeks. Not on, not near, not at the base of, but IN. THE. MOUNTAINS. It's beautiful. Everywhere I look: mountains. And it's like 10-15 C here. There are just no words....

Also, I'm living in a hotel. Hotel Europa, to be exact. It's in a village called Madonna di Campiglio, which is essentially just hotels.

You know, I started this post 2 weeks ago. I'm finishing it now. I'm exhausted. The Dolomites are beautiful. It was cold. Somehow "I don't agree" turned into "I don't like green" and we're still not sure why. My kids did Phineas and Ferb as their final show and it worked out okay (or as okay as it can be when you give an orange group the script on Thursday).

ACLE has no more work for me, so I'm "stuck" here for 17 days. I'm going to Baiardo until at least August 6th with the plan being that I'll bus it to the beach in San Remo every day. After that, I'm either doing a Contiki type tour in London for 5 days. Or I might go to Munich to stay with a BNL friend. Or I might make different plans with someone I meet in Baiardo. Who knows? I sure don't! Isn't it exciting (and kinda terrifying)?

I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss my dog, I miss my bed.

Ciao!

Switzerland for a day

Yesterday, we had a "tutor outing" and went to Switzerland. It was only a hour away. It was BEAUTIFUL!!!

We woke up early to catch the 7:50am train... but that didn't work. Two tutors got there late and we missed the train by, like, 20 seconds. But that was okay, because as we were walking, looking for a cafe for breakfast, we found a store we need to go back to that had ADORABLE flats for 15€. We will go back on Monday.

We had espresso and "toast" (ham and cheese sandwich) at this great little cafe and then walked back to the train station in time to catch our train at 8:50am. The ride from a Milan suburb to Chiaso, Switzerland only took about an hour! It was so beautiful and the train was nice and air conditioned... Have I mentioned yet how hot it is here? And we're getting a heatwave from Africa next week? Tempurature is supposed to be in the 40s all week. Eww. But I digress.

Once in Chiaso, we bought our tickets to go to the lake (Lugano, Switzerland). We had some time to kill so we went to the train station's mini grocery store and stocked up on lunchables for a picnic. And so we were off to Lugano!

What a beautiful place. The train ride alone was breathtaking! We really outed ourselves as tourists, but that's okay. Once in Lugano, we were completely blown away by its beauty. We couldn't stop taking pictures. It took us a good 20 mins to get from the train station to (what I'm going to refer to as) the center of town (which would have taken normal people about 5 minutes). Everything was just so photographable.

So we walked to "the center of town" where we bought postcards and stamps so that we could mail out some stuff ASAP. I think it'll be fun for whoever I sent my postcards to. They'll receive some proof of my being there for the day. Oh and guess what was happening there? Some sort of Harley Davidson motorcycle show! There were some gorgeous bikes on display. I'm sorry, I still can't get over how beautiful it was! And the group I was with really made it a lot of fun. We had a lovely picnic by the water and then wandered around for a while, taking in the sites. We finally ended up taking a nap, in a park, under a tree. We were there for 40 mins, and I'm sure I could hear people laughing at us, but I don't care. It was so hot and our feet hurt and we were tired... and we were nice a refreshed afterward! Then we did something that you really can't do anywhere else in the world, especially not Montreal... We went shopping at H&M, hahaha. I bought a cute top. It's a little snug, but I think I'll fit in it perfectly by the end of the summer.

After Lugano, we went to this outlet mall in Mendrisio, Switzerland called Foxtown. There are outlets for Puma, Guess, Pepe Jeans, Versace, Valentino, Fendi and a ton of others that I just can't afford, outlet prices or not. It was nice to look at! And I had awesome gelato (chocolate and raspberry).

On our way home, I bought THE CUTEST cow mug... it made me so happy. I also bought a little bag of Toblerone for my host family. All in all, it was a good day!

Today, the tutors and I met the two new tutors coming to our camp. They seem super nice and we're all on the same page about just about everything. I'm so glad we're all getting along so well! Through an ACLE (or just our camp director) misunderstanding, the two new tutors have a private apartment (since everyone here was informed that they are a couple). This works out nicely, though, as we are planning a movie night at their place. We planned all our songs for the week today (warm-up and cool down) as well as all our Olympic activities and any other games we want to plan.

After the meeting, my host family took me to Milan to shop. And guess what? I bought a new bag! It's a good size, it's a nice colour and, best of all, it's not something I'd find in Montreal. The camp assistant (who's super cool, by the way) has one in red and I commented on it yesterday, saying I was looking for something similar. When I saw it in pink in a store today, I didn't even hesitate to buy it. And it was on sale! Woo! So, she should be flattered that I'm copying her good taste.

Anyway, I need to be at the camp tomorrow at 8am, so I should probably go to sleep now...

Good night!

Third time's the Charm

I'm now with my third host family and my second camp. My first camp director was fantastic: she knew how to choose sides (between parents and tutors) when needed and she knew that a camp like this needs to go with the flow. You can't plan every minute of everyday.

This new camp director is the exact opposite of the last one. This new one, let's call her S, wants us to not only plan who sings what song in the morning (a reasonable request), but how long each song will last. Our end-of-the-day meeting (which usually takes 15-20 mins) took ALMOST AN HOUR. 20 mins for S to talk to parents and then 25-30 mins of her talking but never really answering our questions. And when we'd answer hers, she'd ask again... and again... I think it was either to make sure we answered the same way each time or to try to change our minds to her way of thinking. The meeting only ended when two tutors told her their host mom had been waiting for them all this time. Tomorrow, I'm leaving after 20 mins max: I have a 20 min walk home.

S was upset that I won't be getting there early tomorrow. I think she wanted me to ask my host mom to either drive the kids to camp at 8am (camp starts at 8:30am) or to make two trips: one for me and one for the kids. Uhh, no. I'm not going to ask that. It's ridiculous! I don't need to be there 30mins early EVERYDAY. You'd think it's her first time as a camp director, but no. She's been there all 4 years the camp has been going on. WTF, mate?

Other than that, my new host family is awesome. The daughter (a camper) is 14, the son (a helper) is 16. The mother is an architect and the father is an engineer. Yesterday, they took me to Lake Como where I totally..... didn't see George Clooney. But I'm pretending I did, in my mind. Yep, I close my eyes and there he was, in front of the lake. It was love at first sight and I'm going to the Oscars in 2012! Hahaha, I wish.

So, a fellow tutor turned me onto Contiki tours. I want to take one for my last week or so in Europe, but I just can't find one that interests me, fits in my budget and in my time frame. I'm a little bummed because I found the PERFECT one and all the trips leaving around when I'd be free are full. Boo. Maybe next year, I'll plan for one ahead of time. With a friend. Maybe.

I'm still reluctant about long-term traveling with friends, after the whole Ships and Dip III fiasco. And considering I get annoyed with people sometimes after a 3 day trip... I don't know how I'd be.

MY host mom and I are going for a walk soon: I get to explore a bit of this suburb. Hopefully soon, I'll get some information concerning the relatives my family found in the area: maybe I'll go out for supper with them!

It's exciting, this life I lead. I wouldn't trade it for anything. The travel periods, although few and far between, are what keep me sane during my sedentary moments. I've never lived healthier as I have when I'm on "vacation" if only because I'm always moving.