In the Key of Awesome

The title of this post was inspired by my friend Jody, you should check out her blog.

So it seems that the pain and suffering I went through with my wisdom teeth actually had some benefits.

1. My mouth doesn't hurt anymore. My gums were always in pain before, I could constantly feel my wisdom teeth growing. It was not fun.
2. My face looks a little thinner now, with my back wisdom gone. I know it's just that the inflammation they caused in my everyday life is gone, but I feel it made a huge difference.
3. I lost weight.
   

Yep, #3 is the most important part, I think. When I had to brush my teeth/rinse out my mouth after I ate, I seriously considered the merit of each snack before eating it (or not). It turns out that being too lazy to get up off the sofa and brushing your teeth seriously diminished the calories you consume in a day. It also trained me not to snack as much: I fell out of the habit. With this weight loss, I'm starting to fit in clothes I never thought I'd fit in again. You know all those old clothes at the back of your closet that you can't bring yourself to give away? Well, I'm starting to fit into them again. Dresses, shirts, jackets... I doubt I'll ever fit into my size 5 jeans again, (seen here, on the right), but I'll be happy if get into my size 12 suit jacket.

Man, look at me in that picture. I was 16, and I had just died my hair strawberry blond to cover up hot pink streaks that I had gotten to celebrate my sweet 16. On the left there, that's me with pink hair. And skinnier. And pretty hot, might I add. It's too bad I didn't know how hot I was back then, I could have been one hell of a heart-breaker.

Either way, I'm glad I'm losing weight. Woo!

Numbers

193
There are 193 days until my Convocation, on June 1st at 10am. I'm looking forward to walking across that stage in front of my family, friends and classmates and finally receiving my diploma. It'll be the official end to my university journey: the culmination of four years of work on my Bachelor of Education.

162
There are 162 days until the Education Grad Ball, on April 30th. We don't have much information about it, but I'm really excited about it. There's a preliminary plan of renting limos and going all out with an after party, ending in a typical Montreal high school prom cliché: watching the sunrise on the mountain (which isn't really a mountain, as such). What a great party, that will be. Some past graduates have tried to tell me that I shouldn't get too excited, as their Grad Ball was lame, but I know that a party is what you make of it. Our Grad Ball will be awesome, because we will make it awesome.

138
There are 138 days until my last day of class, on April 6th. That will be a really big event, I'm sure. Unless it's a really shitty event because I'll have a lot of assignments due. It'll be one or the other, for sure.

Update

So, I got my wisdom teeth out last week (Thursday, October 28th). All four wisdom teeth. At the same time. And, of course - because it's me - there were complications. The bottom left wisdom tooth was problematic. I'm not quite clear on the details (my mother doesn't want me to worry, she says), but they had to dig deep, to the bone. Fun! I'm mostly better now, but I'm still very sore. I actually called the dentist to check out these, umm, lumps? on the inside of my cheeks, kind of adjoining my lower jaw. Turns out, that's what's sore, not my gums themselves. No idea what's up with that. Dentist said it's "normal scar tissue" and not to be worried unless it still hurts next week. He said that I should be 100% healed by next week and if not, to go see him. For now, though, I need to keep brushing after every meal and the do a warm salt water rinse. This means, I'm not eating at school unless I bring a thermos of warm salt water.

I also started working. WOO! PAYCHECKS! I'm really excited about getting an income again and being able to pay my own bills. And have a little left over to save for a trip to New York after my birthday, for a friend's 23rd. This will be my first time in the Big Apple and I'm looking forward to having a nice steak dinner. I think that if I'm in NYC, I need to have a nice steak dinner. We're also trying to see a Broadway show: the birthday girl has her heart set on a specific one that seems to have cheap seats. Another friend wants to go to a bar owed by one of her favourite musicians, so we're going to try to hit that up too. All that along with 2 nights at a 3.5 star hotel.... let's just say I'm thrilled to be getting paid again!

Hmm, what else? I'm glad I took an "easy" semester at school. I only have one final. My art History class isn't as easy as I thought it would be, but since I took it as a "pass/fail" (meaning I don't get a grade, just a remark that I passed or failed and it doesn't affect my GPA), I'm not worried about getting an A. I just need to pass the next exam and the two bullshit assignments and I'm in the clear. Two of my other two classes are complete bullshit classes, I'm not worried. My last class is the last real class I need for my B. Ed. It's called "Policy Issues in Quebec Education" aKa "I don't give a crap about how unfair Quebec treats teachers and students." Seriously, Quebec education treats Anglophones as second class citizens, and teachers as slaves, but whatever. It is what it is, right?

Other than all that, life is pretty good. Our Grad Ball was announced and I am really excited about that.

That's all.

For now.

Choices

Everyday, I make a choice. I choose to either get up and get on with life or stay in bed and hot snooze and wallow in the fact that I have no idea how to get my shit together.

When I have school, and I know it's an important, I usually (begrudgingly) choose the first option. Then, I'm faced with two other choices: get up and be happy about it or get up and sulk. Recently, my mother told me she admires the fact that I'm so pleasant in the morning. I had no idea that what I was doing demonstrated pleasantness, but I'll take any compliments I can get!

I'm not always happy. When I am, the happiness rarely lasts all day. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but I try my darnedest to get over it and move on. As a friend I met in Italy said: Just build a bridge and get over it. She has a point. Life isn't always champagne and strawberries, but we can't all sit there and wallow in the utter despair we all sometimes feel. We can't just indulge ourselves and have a constant "pity-me" party. You know the old saying "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" It's a good saying. It means be proactive, be progressive, get off your ass and do something. For me, that something is the simple act of choosing to shower and get dressed and go out. For others, it may be simply picking up the phone and calling an old friend. Or it might be as complicated as calling someone for help.

I hate asking for help. I feel like asking for help is a sign of my own personal weakness. What's wrong with me, that I can't handle my shit by myself? Well, what's wrong with me is that my shit's too complicated for its creator: I'm that messed up (or so I think). And what have I learned? I've learned that's perfectly okay. It's okay to be fucked up. Everyone's fucked up, in there own way. And that, my friends, is what get's me through the day.

You see, if everyone's fucked up, then maybe I'm not the most fucked up being on the planet. If everyone's fucked up, then people can "get" what I'm going through. If everyone's fucked up, then maybe we're not that fucked up after all?

Dance in the rain

Sad Michele is less sad then yesterday.

I'm not going to Hong Kong. I was so sad and upset and frustrated about this yesterday. Why didn't they pick me? I'm awesome! So I thought to myself, "What would Barney Stinson do?" and I answered "Well, I can just stop being sad and be awesome instead." And that's the plan. I'm going to plan to do something awesome and incredible and fantastic, because that's who I am and that's what I do.

I'm going to try to plan a European trip/extended teaching experience. I'll start with a sure thing: I'll go back to Italy. I'll also apply to this program I know of in Spain, where they pay for your flight. From there, I would like to see Portugal, Amsterdam, Greece, France, the UK, Austria, Switzerland... I want see it all! Yes, I know this is expensive. I don't think I'll be able to do everything this summer, but I'll be able to do enough. Italy, Spain and Greece are the main points on my list. And my main goal is to be in Spain for La Tomatina in August.

Do you know what La Tomatina is? It's a GIANT tomato fight. In the town of Buñol, Spain, THOUSANDS of tourists invade and throw over 50000 pounds of tomatoes at each other. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a really good time to me. In fact, it sounds like it's a fantastic thing to attend and every one should go at least once in their life.

What will I need to help me with this? A job, for starters. I've applied at a private tutoring company. I'm hoping to hear from them this week. If I don't get it, I'm not worried: I'm getting $30 for participating in a Linguistic study tomorrow. Oh and I won $6 on a Bingo lotto scratch ticket. I did, however, spend $20 on lunch, but that's because we have no food in the house, again. Hopefully, someone will go grocery shopping tonight.

I have my sculpture class tonight: I really like it! I thought it would be awful and too intense, but I like it a lot. I'm carving plaster for now. Then I'll make a clay thing a little later this semester. I'm really enjoying it, but I'm at a loss as to what to carve on a certain section. I could easily do "whatever," but I'm going to be spending a lot of time on it and I'd like to be able to display it when it's finished.

The moral of the story? I think I'll be fine.

Sad Michele is sad.

I'm not going to Hong Kong. There were ten applicants, eight spots and I'm second on the waiting list. It means I'm DEAD LAST. The WORST applicant they had. And my best friend is the second worst, as she is first on the waiting list. FUCK. I am sad.

But this may make the rest of you laugh:

Naked People

Happiness

This Is Your Life.

One Step Closer

Hey everyone! I've got some freaken awesome good news!

I am once step closer to to going to beautiful Hong Kong for my final field experience. WOO! I'm really excited about this. I just have to wow the two interviewers and then I'll be on my way! I want this, I deserve this. I'm ready for this. I'm ready to start (or continue, after Italy) my life as an international ESL teacher. I WILL do this and I WILL be awesome and I WILL succeed. And the best part? I'm going and grabbing life by the horns. I'm making things happen. I'm not waiting to something to just fall into my lap. Look at that picture. Isn't it beautiful? I belong there, I mean look at the skyscrapers: some of them are pink! I'm sad, though, because I've found out that some deserving people didn't even get an interview. I'm sorry that I won't have the opportunity to be in Hong Kong with her. She and I weren't in direct competition for a spot, so, for me, there's no upside to her not getting an interview.

Something else I'd like to mention is this video from 2009's World of Science Festival. In it, Bobby McFerrin demonstrates the power of the pentatonic scale. It's just incredible that people who don't really know each other and don't know what will happen next can (correctly) assume what note will be next based on the three note set up McFerrin gives them. It still gives me chills, even though I've watched it many time.

Humans are fascinating, aren't they?

Creativity and Evil Genius (Journal 2)

This past week, I read an interesting article about studying creativity. David Henry Feldman writes about how the study of creativity is often limited to one dimension developed by those deemed creative. He focuses on a study done by Howard Gardner (1983/1993) who “examined the lives and works of seven creative individuals in seven different fields” (Feldman 172). Keeping with the number seven, Feldman uses Gardner’s study to look at the seven dimensions of creativity. These dimensions are as follow:
1. Cognitive process
2. Social/emotional process
3. Family aspects: growing up and current
4. Education and preparation: formal and informal
5. Characteristics of the domain and field
6. Social/cultural contextual aspects
7. Historical forces, events, trends (Feldman 171-172).
This article looks at the relationship between these seven dimensions and seven examples of geniuses in their seven different fields (Albert Einstein – physics, Pablo Picasso – painting, Igor Stravinsky – music, T. S. Elliot – literacy, Martha Graham – dance, Mohandas Gandhi – politics). I will be using the three of the seven dimensions to explain the creativity (or lack thereof) for one fictional literary character and one real person in their respective fields. These characters and their respective fields are:
a) Dexter Morgan (from the Dexter books by Jeff Lindsay) – serial killing
b) ME (from real life) – literacy
I will apply Gardner’s and Feldman’s research to these modern examples to see if they benefit from the three of the seven dimensions of creativity.
Cognitive
While not all of Gardner’s examples were child prodigies, Dexter and I exhibited both interest and talent in our respective fields as children. According to Lindsay’s books, Dexter started killing animals at a relatively young age, and, according to my mother, I started inventing imaginative stories and scenarios for my dolls when I was about six years old. Feldman’s article also suggests that a ten year period needed to move from amateur to expert in any given field. Dexter kills his first victim at the age of 18 (if Dexter was born in 1970, as is revealed in the books, this would make his first kill in 1988) and by the time the second book, Dearly Devoted Dexter in 2005, his body count is up to 41, 17 years later. From 1988 to 1993, he perfects his style of killing to include dismembering and disposing of the body parts more effectively. We can theorize that this is part of the mastery needed to be successful in his field, something he develops at the half way point of this ten year mastery scale.
I, on the other hand, have yet to move past the amateur stage in my pursuit for literary success. Unlike Dexter, I have developed asynchrony with my preferred field. I believe that writing and storytelling can be done in new and innovative way: I just haven’t figured it out yet. Dexter seems to be content with the domain of serial killing as it is, his asynchrony lies more with justice: he is unhappy with how many criminals are allowed to walk free and escape prosecution due to administrative errors.
Social/emotional
The most notable characteristic that defines Dexter is that he does not have the ability to feel, which prevents him from forming strong emotional bonds with others. Much like Gardner’s creative geniuses, Dexter benefits from intense relationships with a select few. In the first book, Dexter’s relationship with Rita (his girlfriend at the time) intensifies as he hunts his next victim. The intense relationship keeps his mind sharp and lets him focus on his craft. Once the hunt for his latest victim ends, his relationship with Rita cools off and he simply goes through the motions once more as a “pretend” human.
I also benefit from short bursts of intensity in my relationships, romantic or otherwise. These relationships give me inspiration for my writing, which is somewhat different then their function described in the Feldman article. There, the relationships are described as supportive: for both Dexter and I it is the intensity that inspires us.
Family
This section of Feldman’s article mentions that early childhood trauma can attribute to later creative success in a specific domain. Dexter suffered what can only be described severe trauma. At the age of three, Dexter and his brother witnessed the gruesome dismemberment of his mother and two other victims. He and his brother, Brian, were left in the shipping container where the murder occurred, with the victims, in two inches of blood before they were found and Dexter was adopted by his new family. This trauma has been directly linked to his serial killer, psychopathic nature.
Although I do not believe my early childhood incident is worthy of the term trauma, a chunk of ceiling (plaster) fell on me when I was six years old. While I attribute that event to my weird and eclectic personality, I do not believe that it would dictate my creative success in the literary field.
As we can see, there are similarities between different kinds of creative success in many different fields. Does this mean that these three (ultimately the seven that Feldman focuses on) dimensions are the only dimensions that define creative success? That is difficult to put in absolute terms. Although I share similarities with fictional serial killer Dexter Morgan, I do not believe that I can be as creatively successful he or any of the other aforementioned geniuses. In Dexter’s case, Raymond S. Nickerson explains that “creativity, ... can serve either good or bad ends and ... attempting to enhance creativity in a value-free way is a bit like teaching a child how to aim and fire a gun without providing guidance regarding what, and what not, to shot at” (Nickerson 397). This is why Dexter is seen as the hero in his books: his adoptive father nurtured his creativity and intelligence and guided him to use his skill to catch the “bad guys” who have gotten away with their crimes, in the eyes of the law.

My goals

My (short term) goals are as follows:

1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.

Let's look at these one by one, starting with... well... the first one.

1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
Okay, for my room to be perfectly clean, I have to clean it, right? Well, I'm trying. I really am. I'm up to what, part six of my room cleaning saga? This is a goal I can control, and I am controlling it. I'm setting some time aside as often as possible to clean as much as I can. As I clean, instead of just moving things from one side of the room to the other, I'm actually packing it in boxes and reusable bags. This way, I can easily stack, store, and (later) find my books and DVDs (which seem to be the stuff of which I have too much). This way, everything has it's place and it's place isn't randomly strewn around my room. This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.

2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
Ahh, this old thing. Yep, the weight thing. So, I'm fat. I'm not delusional about this, it's a fact and I'm okay with it. Well.. not really, if I want to lose weight, right? This is a health thing, not a vanity thing. I'm out of breath all this time, my knees hurt, my heart beats so freaken quickly... I'm too young to have all these problems. Also, I have an awesome tattoo that NO ONE SEES because I'm too ashamed of my fat belly to show it off. So I'm eating better, not dieting. Dieting is a deprivation of certain foods. I'm not ready to (nor do I think I have to) cut out whole items from my daily menus. Instead, I'm eating less bad stuff and more good stuff and making better choices in my day to day life. I'm also exercising more. I'm not going to the gym because a) I'm poor and b) I don't think I need to go to the gym right now. Gyms are great for those with time and money and I have neither at the moment. We have an elliptical at home and if I use it more and walk the dog more, then I think that'll be enough for now! This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.

3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
I think this may be the easiest of the goals to accomplish. Now a days, anyone can write and then self publish a book. The thing is, I don't want to be a self-published author. I want to be a real author. A good author. I want to write something that people who are not my family and friends will buy, read, and love. My mom says all I need to do is get an idea and run with it, but that's a lot easier said than done. I mean, if it were easy, I'd have already done it. My mother raised a good point by asking my what kind of book I want to write. Well, I have no idea. Whatsoever. Not a clue. But, if I persevere, I might actually succeed. This is a goal that I am in (somewhat) control of. I can achieve it, if I try.

4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Seriously, this is a possibility. It would be a DREAM COME TRUE in more ways than one. I'd be teaching in Asia. This could open up a whole new bunch of possibilities: I'd have my foot in the door of a teaching job in Asia. Also, I'd be going to Asia on my school's dime, which really isn't that terrible of thing, is it? Hong Kong is a beautiful city. I really want to be chosen for this... That's right. Chosen. This is NOT a goal that I am in control of. I've written my letter of intent and all I can do is hope that it gets me an interview. After that, I can just pray that I've impressed them enough to pick me as one of the lucky 8 people from TESL to go. I hope I can achieve it.

Creativity

This is my first "Journal" for my a class I'm taking called Creativity and its Cultivation.

Creativity... what is it? Does everyone have it? Does everyone want it? Is it really all that useful? The answer to all those questions is “yes.” Well, it’s not the answer to the first question, obviously, but that’s not the point. Or is it?
Okay, so what is creativity? Dictionary.com has a pretty good definition:

Creativity (noun)
1. The state or quality of being creative.
2. The ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts.
3. The process by which one utilizes creative ability: Extensive reading stimulated his creativity.

I like the second definition best, it’s not very creative of them to use the word to be defined in its definition, is it... but I digress.

Creativity is then ability to “transcend traditional ideas,” to go beyond what is customary, break convention and be brilliant. What constitutes as brilliant may be different for everyone, but it is definitely the goal, the desired end result, the treasure at the end of creativity trail.

Now, does everyone one have creativity? And if they don’t, are they capable of attaining it? I think: YES! Everyone one has some form of creativity or another. Twyla Tharp, a choreographer, offers advice to about creativity and the creative process in an article written by the Harvard Business Review in 2008. Yup, a CHOREOGRAPHER had an article written about in a BUSINESS magazine. Now, would you associate creativity more with choreography or with business? Yeah, I’d usually pick business to. NOT! I’d totally pick dance! Typical creativity (although I hate anything that is always associated with something typical) is associated with capital-a-Art, whether it be dance, paint, music, etc. I agree with Tharp, or the editors of Harvard Business Review or whoever is responsible for having the Tharp article in the magazine. The art of dance and the art of business are more similar than people think. They both utilize immense creativity: they just do it differently. Whether you are a business person, a mathematician, a writer, a chemist or a dancer, you need creativity to get you through the times you get “stuck” in your work. All those science-y type people need MASSIVE creativity to create new formulas, work through old ones and make the world a better, safer, more science-y place. Those who are in the capital-a-Art fields have the stigma of being dubbed creative whether they are successful or not. This is also why I think everyone WANTS some sort of creativity (jeeze, how many more times can I shove the word “creativity” in this? Let’s see!). Everyone wants to be successful and, in my books, the two are synonymous.

So I took this CREAX Creativity-Self Assessment test thing and I found that my “creativity index” is 69.22 whereas the typical creativity index is 62.47. I have no idea what to make of this. The number seems low, in my opinion, even if it’s above the typical number. Does that mean that I’m not that creative? I’m super creative? I’m barely above average? I wish the website provided a better explanation for the result, it only explains the categories it includes in its assessment. I have no idea what it means and if I did, I don’t think I’d put much stock in it. I really dislike those types of tests and I don’t think something like creativity can be tested for or measured.

Do you want to take the test? Take it HERE and let me know your results.

Let's Face It. English Is a Stupid Language

I just wanted to share a poem about the English language:

Let's Face It. English Is a Stupid Language

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/esl.htm

Cleaning my room, part six

Yep, I'm still cleaning. This is getting pathetic, but at least it's getting done. The main problem is that I have too many books and not enough bookshelf space. The books then go in bags and boxes and then boxes and bags take up floorspace. I'm trying really hard to organize this a little better, though, since I may be moving into my "own place" (and by "own place" I mean my nonna's apartment upstairs).While it won't actually be my apartment, it will be a place to put all my stuff. Hopefully, I'll have room for all my stuff up there!

Do you want to know what I found this time? Let’s see: some extra wristbands from Ships and Dip III, some long lost books, a million socks (not all have partners), school supplies, some American change, books, about a year’s worth of Cosmo (from 2007-2008), some books, course packs and essays from CEGEP, a couple books and, have I mentioned books? SO. MANY. BOOKS!

Okay, I can understand why I have so many books: it’s no secret that I buy a ton of books. If I see a book I want to read, I’ll buy it, I don’t borrow from the library. I also have a lot of books I’ve had to buy for school (textbooks and such). I feel that having many books (that I’ve read and can display and talk about) is a sign of my intelligence. Weird, right? Cause there’s no way I can look smart with my room in a complete mess. It just doesn’t work.

Ugh. Well, I guess I better get back to cleaning. I’ll keep y’all posted!

Hopes and Dreams

Woo, so much has happened since my last blog. My best friend got married and is currently on her honeymoon. One of my closest friends is moving in with her boyfriend today. I got, and subsequently got rid of, a spray tan that I just couldn't get used to. I saw one of the summer's most hilarious films (The Other Guys, GO SEE IT!). Oh and I found my dream home.

That's right.

My dream home.

It's a condo in the world famous Habitat 67 building complex. It's 1,248 sq ft over two floors, gorgeous views and a private shuttle to downtown Montreal. It's also $459000, which is reasonable for the location and all it has to offer (look for yourself). It's just completely unreasonable for my current budget.

I know what you're thinking: Michèle! You're just a student! You can grow into that budget! Well, that's the plan. I may not be able to make it my first home, but I will eventually live there. And do you know why? Because it's my dream and I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN!

That's the thing with hopes and dreams, you can't sit back and ask other people to do everything for you. You have to make your own mark, spend your own money, be your own person.

And happiness will follow.

Things I Learned at my Friend's Bachelorette Party

Last night was the Bachelorette party for one of my best friends. It was an evening of dinner, dancing and great conversations. It was also, for me, an evening of self-discovery/remembering why I used to go clubbing. Here are a few things I learned (along with a little story about how/why I learned it):

1. Don't count on people
Along with the four bridesmaids and the bride, there were supposed to be three other guests at last night's event. One called a few minutes before supper, with an excellent reason for having to cancel at the last minute. The other two just didn't show up. This wasn't just a birthday or a "just because" dinner. This was the LAST wild and crazy night the bride would have as a single woman. If you can't make it, that's fine, but the least you can do is call to cancel because I'M the one that had to explain why no one else showed up.

2. 80s night it not always the most epic night
For those of you who know me, you also know that 80s night is (usually) my favourite night to go out, so I was really looking forward to a night out at La Tulipe. I guess I just have to be in the right club, with the right 80s music and in the right frame of mind because last night, it just wasn't working. There were too many songs I didn't know (or like). There were too many situations in which I was allowed the opportunity to just sit and be anti-social. I was crashing from an intense sugar rush brought on by sugar pie and an alcoholic slushy. It just wasn't working...

Which brings me to my next point:

3. Just go with the flow
I'm a planner. I plan things, it's what I do. When things don't go as planned I feel like I'm no longer in control of the situation, whether the situation is mine to control or not. It was a good call for the bride to want to change locations and abort 80s night in favour of more modern music. We walked from one club to another and it seemed to completely invigorate us. We entered Le Diable Vert new people. It was a good night.

4. I have no patience for stupid people
So there are five of us dancing in a little pentagon/circle thing when this group of three people (two guys, one girl, they looked about 18 or 19) pass through us on their way to another part of the dance floor. While it's slightly annoying, I can't fault them as I, myself, have done that many times. The problem started when they stopped in the middle of us to share a word. Again, annoying, but whatever, as long as you move on. Well, they didn't. They stayed there, talking, in the middle of our group. So I catch the eye of one of the guys and make a "you, move" hand motion. Sure, it's a little rude, but don't block me off from my friends when dancing if there's more than enough dancing room around our group. So the guy obviously understands what I was saying because he nods and then whispers to the girl. The girl looks at me, whispers (and by whispers, I mean yells into their ears) to the guys, and then start dancing. In. Our. Circle. Who does that?!!? So I start dancing. I do my (should be patented) elbows-out-hitting-unwanted-people-in-the-back dance. And this girl tried. I mean she tried hard. But she just couldn't hack it. She gave me one last dirty look and walked away. Now, I don't know if the others were in on my telepathic conversation, but I felt like it was a victorious team effort. I mean really, skinny bitch, you look 12, you weigh 50 lbs and you're going up against a pms-ing 24 year old who's been clubbing since before you started high school? Bitch, please.

5. I needs me some more club-rap music from my high school days on my iPod
Oh man, I cannot remember how long it's been since we closed a club. I can practically guarantee, though that the last time I did it, Ja Rule was a chart topper and DMX was all up in the clubs. You remember them, right? Yeah, me either... but what I was listening to last night was close enough. It seems I was in my element, last night, with the club-rap. That's what I felt most comfortable dancing to, what I new most (if not all) of the words to, what reminded me of my former clubbing days. I'm not saying I'd be able to stand a full 4 hours of only rap music, but I think I definitely need some to make my night. And I refuse to believe I'm the only one!

All in all, it was a good night :)

Inspiration

My friend just started blogging (you should check her out), which has inspired me to start again. I really do enjoy blogging: it's cathartic and I always feel better afterward. So here it goes:

Okay, firstly, I am so proud of my friends (they know who they are). One has his dream job, one is moving in with her boyfriend, one is going back to school, one is getting married. I'm so happy for them, for all of my friends. They all deserve happiness, that's for sure.

Then there's another friend who does nothing but complain about her life, about how nothing ever goes her way, about how everything just sucks. She is the one who really inspired me today. I've decided to do the same. I'll sit at home on the computer all night and pretend to look for a job all day and wonder why I have no life. I'll refuse to make any changes to my personality and lifestyle even though it is obviously not working for me. I'll dwell on the fact that everyone's life is going so much better than mine and, well, that must be everyone else's fault, not mine.

Or, ya know, I can not. I can live. I can be happy for my friends knowing that they are happy for me and my accomplishments. Yes, I'm a little jealous that their lives seem to be working out a little better than mine, but I know for a fact that they are sometimes jealous of my life. I've got good things going for me: I'm on my way to a stable career, I travel, I go out, I enjoy life, I've got a good family (even if they drive me crazy at times), I've got good friends (even if they drive me crazy at times). I've got a good life. And I love living it.

Home again, home again

Well, I've been home from Italy for about 5 days now. First, let me say that it was one of the most incredible experiences ever. Having the opportunity to teach English in Italy was well worth the expense of having to *get* to Italy. I will definitely be doing it again, maybe even next year.

Meanwhile, it's back to normal life here, or as normal as it gets. I got back last Sunday and started my second summer class on Monday. I've been going, non-stop, all week and I'm exhausted. Along with class, I've been having to deal with family and friend drama, so of course, what happens now? Oh that's right, I don't sleep. I mean, why else would I be blogging at 5am? Hello, insomnia old friend, long time no see!

I know I suck, but that's all for now.

Cannes/Monaco/Rain

I’m finding out where I’ll be placed for camp tomorrow. I’m nervous, yet excited. Nervous because I’ve never done this sort of thing before but excited because, after all, this is what I’m here to do.

Today, it was raining in Baiardo. To be honest, it was raining yesterday and all of last night as well. To prove this fact, my school bag is SOAKED, completely and thoroughly soaked. I’m so glad that my electronics were in baggies, or else they’d be ruined. I’m going to buy a new schoolbag tomorrow (mine smells REALLY weird now and is about 6 years old so I can justify a new one). I need a new suitcase as well as this one (my first ever that’s only 4 years old) is broken. This isn’t a HUGE problem for me, but the fact that the handle won’t go down might be a problem on the airplane back home. I’m going to hold off on purchasing that, though, until my last camp so that I’ll have actual money to buy it with.

We went to Cannes and Monte-Carlos today, but sadly I hadn’t set my converter to the right setting and my camera’s battery drained completely over night instead of recharging: no pictures for me... One girl was nice enough to take a picture OF me in Monaco, so that’ll be tagged on Facebook... eventually... once we all have access to high speed internet.

Well, I should probably be off to bed now: it’s 12:20 am here. Tomorrow, I’ll be sleeping in and then going to the beach. Woo!

Bajardo

On the top of a mountain, 1000 meters above sea level; the clouds look like they’ve invaded the city, much like that movie The Mist. I’m in Bajardo, a little town in Italy, population 200 or so. I’m “on hold,” which means I’m one of 37 people who could not be placed at a camp right away because there weren’t enough camps this week. One the bright side, I’m getting paid 100 € to relax and the founder of ACLE is organizing a trip to Cannes/Monaco for us. So exciting!!!

In Bajardo, there are wild, feral cats, fog all around, no breeze and, wait for it, SCORPIONS. Yep, scorpions. WHAT THE EFF, MAN!!?!?!?!?!? I really don’t know how I feel about that, other than a little freaked out. I’m not so freaked out that I’ll let it ruin my trip, but a little freaked out none the less.

I need a new suitcase too: the 10 min uphill hike on cobble stone absolutely destroyed my poor bag. Also, I think a backpack style bag might be easier to carry. And, if there are useless things that don’t fit, I can simply ship them home. I just wish I could find a plus sized clothing store to buy some more shorts and send home some pants home. I don’t need my dress pants. They’re also way too tight! I didn’t realize it when I packed them. It seems like I lost some weight, though. My size 18 pants/shorts/skirt seems to be falling off of me. That might make things awkward in the summer camps.

Well, I’m not even half way through Love, Actually and I’m really super tired. I suppose it’s goodbye for now!

OMG!!!

It's been a while, I know. Almost a month! Sorry! I had class, and work, and... well... I was lazy.

MY ROOM IS CLEAN! WOO!!! Mission Accomplished, with a week to spare (I finished last Sunday). Now, I just need to get a move on and start packing, seeing as how I'm leaving TOMORROW! Holy crap!

To celebrate my leaving for ITALIA, my most of favourite people and I got together for dinner at Zyng, then for drinks (well, a drink lol) at La Distillerie. I really like both those places. The food at Zyng is so tasty and the drinks at La Distillerie are well worth their price. Not only that, but I had a really fantastic evening with some of my best friends. These ladies have been there for me through thick and thin and I have a feeling that they will continue to support me and love me for a long time. My friend from high school was there for a little bit. She and I used to be inseparable, then lost touch in CEGEP. I'm so glad that we're getting closer again, I know that she was one of the few REAL friends to come out of RHS. Finding such good friends in university helped me realize who my real friends in high school were, and let me tell you: there weren't many of them! But that's okay. I'm a better person for knowing all those people, good or bad.

Speaking of Italy (well, we weren't really, but that's okay), I'm so excited that I'll be there to watch at least three World Cup games in which Italy will be playing. That will be INTENSE! I'm really looking forward to it: hopefully I can actually watch the games.

I'm really excited! And nervous! And kinda freaking out...

Alright, I have to go pack.

Ciao!

Cleaning my room, part five

Cleaning my room. Again. It seems this is all I do. I guess it would go faster if I cleaned more and blogged less, but that would also mean it would be less fun.

I cleared another laundry basket full of, well, crap. I did get to hang up all my teaching clothes, which I really should have done a while ago. AND I took some pictures of really nice pieces of clothing that I've only worn once or twice. If my loyal read(s) want(s) anything, let me know.

Alright, what else did I find? Some old essays from when I was in CEGEP and could write a 2000+ word essay in 3 hours and still get a 90%; way too many o.b. tampons for someone who NEVER uses them; a toy gun, still sealed; one silver sandal (I thought I had given them away, so now I think I only gave one away... oops); the charger and earphones that go with my old cell... Yeah, and a bunch more stuff.

Lately, I find that all my doing is shuffling stuff from one place to another, without really knowing WHERE to put things yet. The night table and dresser, which I was so proud of for cleaning, is now all cluttered again. I still have a lot of work to do.

I thinkI want a yogurt now...

Boys. Again. Ugh.

Excuse me for a moment while I whine like a 13 year old.

GAH!! Why is it that I always like guys who either don't like me the same way, or just like someone else? BOOO! I mean, I'm likable, right? I'm pretty awesome, actually. But boys don't see that. I guess I need to keep looking for men. Or, maybe, look for men who appreciate and like me in the same way I like them.

That's all for now. I'm tired.

Cleaning my room, part four

It's been exactly one month since my last "cleaning my room" blog. I haven't done much since then: in fact I think the lack of doing anything made my room regress a few steps. Whatever. Today, I'm finishing the left side of bed, possibly starting on the right side. One of the big things I've noticed though is that I seem to have A LOT of books (and no where to put them). Textbooks, novels, cookbooks... just a lot of books with no home other than on the floor or in a drawer or on my dresser.

Along with cleaning my room, I need to somehow find the time to clean my bookshelf in the computer room. That bookshelf holds my painted ceramic pieces (which are really really crappy and I don't understand why my parents display them so proudly), all my books from before I graduated high school (as in, my La courte échelle series, my R. L. Stine series, my The Cat Who series and my Bruce Coville series), and a couple of CEGEP textbooks. I don't really want to get rid of all this (except the ceramic, it's really crappy), but I don't want to leave it all there either: there's no room. Maybe I should get a bookshelf to go in here when I'm done cleaning? One to match the new bed my parents will buy me? That might work...

I do have some shelves in here, but they serve no purpose, really. The top two shelves are too high for me to reach without a step-stool and the other three house my stuffed animals, my dictionaries/MELS info, my CDs and (surprise, surprise) MORE BOOKS! I never thought I'd say this, but maybe I have too many books?

At least I've read them all. Some, I've read multiple times. And I'm a reader, so it's normal, right? It's a sign of intelligence, isn't it, to have read so many books? Not all of them (read: a very small selection) would be considered "high literature," but I learned in my Sci-Fi class this semester that "literature" is what you make it, not what a critic tells you. A book does not have less value because it doesn't fall into a specific category, every book has something to offer.

K, well, I guess I should clean?

Ugh.

The Influence of Shakespeare

I posted this as a Facebook note back in 2007. I got it as a hand out in one of my CEGEP classes. I think it's worth re-posting!
Enjoy! (I needed a study break lol)


The Influence of Shakespeare

Shakespeare invented over 1700 words: he changed nouns into verbs, verbs into adjectives, connected words together, and also added prefixes and suffixes. As well, he coined entirely new words and expressions, most of which we continue to use today.

The following excerpt, from Bernard Levin’s The Story of English, provides a concise sense of Shakespeare’s enormous contribution to the English language:

“If you cannot understand my argument, and declare “It’s Greek to me”, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you claim to me more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you recall your salad days, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger, if your wish is father to the thought, if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your lord and master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool’s paradise – why, be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a forgone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare; if you think it is high time and that that is the long and the short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that the truth will win out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then – to give the devil his due – if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head) you are quoting Shakespeare; even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I were dead as a door-nail, f you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, the – by Jove! O Lord! Tut, tut! for goodness’ sake! what the dickens! but me no buts – it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare.” (Bernard Levin. From The Story of English. Robert McCrum, William Cran and Robert MacNeil. Viking: 1986)

Almost done

Four classes, two exam over. One class and exam on Monday.

Tomorrow I'm going to a brunch event with my mom to hear author Christopher Moore and other speak about their latest books. What question should I ask?

School

I finished my English essay. I think I'll get a B or a B+. I'm okay with that.

I'm finishing my Linguistics research paper. I'm hoping for a B. I need to do well on this and the final in order to pass the class. Fuck.

I have an English exam on Thurs at 9am. Then a Chem exam on Friday at 6pm. Then the Linguistics exam on Monday at 2pm. Then I'm done!

I'll blog more then...

Getting into the analytical frame of mind

I. Hate. This. Essay.

Is this analytical enough? I'm trying not to just re-tell the story. Also, do you think I need to find a source, or am I saving my ass by saying "it is generally believed?"

During the Jupiter Mission section of the film, man loses control over the very tools put in place to assure the success of the mission and the safe keeping of the astronauts. By having this essential piece of technology fail and endanger both the mission and the inhabitants of the space station, killing most of them in fact, Kubrick suggests that perhaps our society’s dependence on complicated tools is dangerous. Kubrick’s view may not have been that far off. In 1999, there was a huge scare when the media publicized the possibility of total failure of all computer systems when the year changed from 99 to 00. Some of the bigger conspiracy theorists believed that this glitch would cause banks to shut down and planes to fall out of the sky. We can assume that before this time, most of the general population did not think their lives were so dependent on technology. Much like Kubrick’s protagonist Dave Bowman did not know how to react upon learning of HAL’s fallibility, the general public panicked when confronted with the possibility that their technological tools might fail.

I need your help

MY AWESOME ESSAY TOPIC WAS ACCEPTED!!!!! WOOO!!!!! I'm so excited, because I know that now, I can write and awesome essay. The thing is, I'm insecure and I would LOVE some feedback (obviously, not on the whole thing, but on parts like the intro and conclusion).

So here's my intro:

Science fiction films often try to convey either a vision of the future or a “what if” idea in the present. Both 2001: A Space Odyssey and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, directed by Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg respectively, try to transmit a powerful message through their stunning cinematography, direction, writing and soundtrack. As each film progresses, the main protagonists seem to lose their ability to use tools. In Kubrick’s film, the characters in space must relearn to use basic tools: using the toilet, for example. Dave must also regain control over HAL, a tool used to assure the mission’s success. Roy, the protagonist of Spielberg’s film, on the other hand, loses his language and communication tools: his ability to express and explain his thoughts and feelings. Both characters, however, are rewarded in the end. Dave learns the secret of life from the monolith and becomes the Star Child, an evolved being independent from machinery. Roy is chosen to be an explorer and ambassador of sorts and is welcomed into a society that uses basic sound as a form of communication. Both these characters were chosen by an alien society to reach the next step in human evolution which seems to be a throwback to the first stages of the human race: using fewer, simpler tools.

What do you think? Is my thesis clear? Is the wording clear? Any feedback would be fantastic and, possibly, rewarded :P

Writer's Block SUCKS!

I have to write an 7-8 page English essay for Friday. It wouldn't be so bad if I had a clear idea about what I wanted to write. As of right now, I have one AWESOME thesis that's not part of the assigned topics (and I missed the approval deadline so I'm waiting to see if the TA will make an exception for me) and one mediocre thesis (that's part of the assigned topics). I'm just not sure how to go about it. I'm analyzing. comparing and contrasting two films: 2001: A Space Odyssey and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I won't bore you with the details of my analysis, just know that it will either be an epic win or an epic fail. Either way, right now, it's an epic nothing.

To try to get me in the mood, in terms of writing, I have my iTunes on shuffle. My music collection is pretty eclectic: it always has. Now, with the internet and the fact that new bands and artists are putting their own music out there, I feel like I can't be a proper music fan UNLESS I have such diverse tastes and interests. Not only that, but I LOVE discovering new (to me) music! Gord bless the interwebs, as I would be listening to plain and boring music without it.

Well, I guess I should try writing some more...

Happy Easter!

Not a huge blog today, just a few quick things.

1. If you haven't heard it, please try to look up Rabbit and the Resurrection by Barenaked Ladies. FANTASTIC Easter song!

2. I wonder if anyone in my family will remember I'm lactose intolerant and not serve milk/cream/cheese based dishes?

3. Happy Zombie Jesus day! Try not to eat too many chocolates in one sitting :P

Edited to add: Here's a video that I made of the BNL song I mentioned in #1

I'm tired.

Earlier, I had a migraine. It's gone down to a (still painful) throbbing, after painkillers and a "omg I think I'm dying" 3 hour nap. I want to say everything is overwhelming, but really it isn't. I'm just bad about getting my act together. I've decided that part of my problem is waiting on other people to do things for me: well, no more. I'm taking my life into my own hands. As my good friend Cara once wrote (as her Facebook status) "[I am not] waiting for change... [I'm] making change happen!"

As my dedicated reader(s) know(s), I've finally decided to get my shit together and clean my room. I haven't moved forward on that since my last post, but it's a thought forever present and always at the front of my mind. My room WILL be clean before I leave for the summer. My soft deadline is May 13th, the hard deadline is June 4th. Why those dates? Well, they correspond to the day before two trips I'm taking this summer. More on that later, though.

I've made an appointment with Mental Health, at McGill, to see if this lack of sleep thing has anything to do with anxiety. The insomnia is getting pretty bad. I'm not sleeping through a full night at all anymore, unless I take some sort of sleep aide, which I don't want to take too often in order to not become addicted. I bought a journal in which to write my thoughts when I'm up, which seems to be helping. I think some pretty fucked up things when I don't sleep! So yeah, I made an appointment to talk to someone, maybe find the underlying problems causing my insomnia.

I've also made an appointment with H&R Block to get my taxes done. I'm tired of waiting after my dad to do them, I want my refund now, not in 8 months! I'm a little nervous, as it's the first time I do it by myself. I just feel as if I don't have enough papers? I don't know. What I do know is that this will cost me about $30, which isn't too bad.

The last thing I want to write about today is vegan brownies. I'm craving chocolate and I'm tired of my parents not buying cocoa so I'm going out and buying it myself. Then, tonight, I am going to make these vegan brownies, not only for me but also for my friend's boyfriend who is ill and I kinda promised I'd make goodies this week for both of them so I might as well do it. Why vegan, you ask? Well, you shouldn't ask. You should know: I'm lactose intolerant. I'm not a tofu fan, so I'm glad I found a tofu-free recipe. I wanted to make brownies from the dairy/egg free dessert book I bought a few months ago, but it seems to have disappeared... Seriously, I have no clue where it is. It was in the living room. Now, it isn't.

I really just wish this headache would go away... and that I slept for more than 3 hours at a time.

Cleaning my room, part three

I'm inspired. I've got my laptop in my room, blasting the new Barenaked Ladies album All In Good Time along with the rest of my mega awesome iTunes library. I've got the new Chris Moore book Bite Me on my bed, in case cleaning gets too unbearable. I've got a bottle of water at my side and the determination to finish my long dresser.

Want to know what I've found so far? Notes from the summer class I took in 2008, the USB key I used in CEGEP (graduated in 2007), a chemistry textbook (the last time I took chemistry was 2005), some sheet music from my high school band (played sax!), directions to a new store, it just opened (in 2004), two pattern packages for sexy dresses, scrabooking crap, half a dozen books and CDs that belong to my ex friend's ex boyfriend. And I haven't even looks IN my drawers yet to see what kind of clothing I've got in there. My prediction: bras in like 4 different sizes that don't even come close to fitting me anymore.

Most of what I just mentioned is completely useless to me right now, except maybe the pattern packages. They're for "plus" sizes, so I must have already been fat when I bought them. As you can tell from these pictures, the dresses are super cute. I just need to commandeer a sewing machine and, perhaps, some time and I can maybe make a dress or two this summer...

Maybe not this summer, actually. Two summer classes and a trip... I'll be pretty busy. Better than being bored all summer, I guess. It's not like I can get a job, as a university student with a job waiting in September, no one is going to hire me for 45 days during the summer. 45 days where I'd be unavailable on Sundays and weekday afternoons from 1-4pm. Nope, not getting a job. Not happening!

On another note, I also found 3 pairs of sunglasses. Couple that with the two pairs I just bought and the four pairs I keep in my basket in the washroom and, well, I've got a lot of sunglasses. They're my main summer accessory! I can't wear red sunglasses with a pink shirt, I can't wear pink sunglasses with an aqua shirt, I can't wear my big green sunglasses other than on St-Patrick's Day and wearing the same black sunglasses get boring. Here's where I need your help, dear faithful reader(s) (I'm still not sure I actually have more than, like, 4 "faithful readers lol): How should I store all these sunglasses? They don't have cases, so telling me "in their case" is not a valid suggestion. My current thoughts are either in individual ziploc bags in a small drawer in my dresser (provided I can clear a small drawer) or in a basket on my dresser. I'm not liking the basket idea too much, because I'll lose space and they'll get all dusty and eww.

So, leave a comment and let me know your opinion. Oh and let me know if you want the scrapbooking crap :P

Cleaning my room, part two

For Pete's sake, how the HELL did I let my room get to this state? This is terrible! If I were underage, I'm sure my mother would have been reported to Youth Protection, although my room's messiness is no where near her fault. You may have dust bunnies, but I have dust godzillas (did I already make that joke? No matter, still true). Last time, I attacked my night table, which was an incredibly cathartic experience. I relived some high school moments when looking at photos of my then best friend (who is currently not even in my wide circle of casual acquaintances). I was able to part with old love notes from three different ex-boyfriends. I found a bunch of expired painkillers (you'd think I had a problem!) and parted with $100+ of useless old face creams. AND I cleaned off about 3 feet of dust (okay, I'm exaggerating, but it was still a lot).

Today, I started on my long dresser (I have two, a long and a short one). Guess what? MORE CRAP! I haven't finished it yet (took a break to transfer coins from my Carnival Cruise cocktail glass to my actual piggy bank), but I've already got half a bag of garbage and half of bag of clothing to donate to charity. I've also found more jewelry than I know what to do with. Not good jewelry, not gold I can send in to those TV commercials to get instant cash, noooo... crappy jewelry that I've accumulated over the years. Jewelry that I'm not sure why (or when) I bought and that may or may not be tarnished beyond recognition. Jeebus, when did I have all this money to spend on garbage?

I wish it was the kind of garbage that people would pay for on Ebay or something... But this is just crap and it would probably cost more to ship than someone would be willing to pay for it. So, I throw it out. Or give it to charity. Or offer it to my friends...

I hate cleaning, but it needs to be done. I'm going to Italy for 5 weeks or so this summer and my mom will most likely throw everything out (and she would be full within her right to do so) while I'm gone if I don't clean up.

How to look good, always.

Obviously, I'm not perfect. Let's not get into every reason (we don't have forever, here), we'll just address my physical downfalls.

1. I'm fat. I'm not big boned, I'm not "kinda chubby," I'm fat.
2. I have weird skin: it's oily but flaky and very uneven in skin tone.
3. My hair is blah. It's not straight, it's not curly, it's way too thick for my own good.

Well, those are the cons. There are more, Lord knows there are more, but that's besides the point. Thing is, when I take my time and pay attention to what I'm doing, I can look damn good. Wanna know how? It's not that big of a secret. It boils down to one thing: confidence. Let's address each fault in turn.

1. So what if I'm fat? That DOES NOT mean I can't look sexy. I just need to dress for my body type and not simply choose clothing because it's "my style" or "in fashion at the moment." If that were the case, I'd be wearing leggings as pants (a. they are not pants and b. I sooo don't have the ass doe that). I credit my friend Jody for this next little tidbit: TRY EVERYTHING ON!!! Even if you don't think it'll look good, even (or especially, I should say) if you don't like it on the hanger, even if you normally would never look twice at it. Once you've tried on your items, be critical and don't take it personally if it doesn't look right. That just means you'll spend your money elsewhere. Bring a friend you trust to help you decide if it looks good or not: you might think something suits/doesn't suit you because it's what you always/never wear. Don't let the past dictate your fashion future. Here, I'm not saying you have to abandon your personal style! If you want to be goth/punk/preppy/whorish, go for it, but you still need to dress for your body. If, after trying everything on and not finding anything you like, don't get depressed. You need to search to find something nice. If you still want to spend money, go shoe or purse shopping :).

2. My skin. Ugh. I don't understand why it's so weird! Am I dehydrated? I don't think so, I drink a lot of water. Yet, it's flaky under and between my eyebrows and on my chin. Yet my cheeks, nose and forehead are oily. I've spent $1000+ on creams, lotions, cleansing milks and toners: nothing works. What can I do? Work with my best attributes. Firstly, I try not to use too much concealer and foundation, not because I don't need it but because it tends to emphasize the flaking. I make sure to moisturize well and just put on a touch of pressed powder. Then I decide what feature am I working with to make me pretty. For me, it's usually my eyelashes or my lips (or sometimes both). I've invested in two kinds of mascara, one of everyday use and for "in your face" lashes that I reserve for a night out. And that's it. Sometimes I add eyeliner, usually with my night out mascara. For my lips, I have a wide variety of glosses and lipsticks to fit my mood, style and event I'm attending.

3. My hair. It doesn't curl. It isn't straight. It's super thick. So instead of fighting my hair, I've decided to go with it. I dry it in sections (unless I'm going for a bride of Frankenstein type hairdo). After, I can choose to straighten it or leave it as is, it depends on my time and what I'm doing.

Point of the story: I dress to make ME look awesome, not to find some standard ideal of beauty. And how do I do that? By being confident. Sure, I don't always feel awesome everyday, but on the days I do, I make sure I look it. If you want to look awesome, follow my simple fashion advice. Be confident. The rest will follow.

Need... sleep...

1. Happy St-Patrick's day. I had this beautiful green shirt, but a couple months ago I got an oil stain on it. I gave it to my mom because she said she'd fix it. I asked her about it last weekend: she managed to lose it in her room, which is spotless and not cluttered and I have no idea how that happened.

2. It's 5:21am. I've been up since about 3:15am. And that's just when I decided to check the time! I was up way before that. Let's see, I went to bed at 11pm and I think I must have gotten maybe... 2 hours sleep? Maybe less. Oh boy, will today be ever so much fun (heavy sarcasm). For further reference, I should turn off my laptop at least one hour before bed; not play on my nintendo DS for 20mins in bed and not eat pizza sans lactaid right before going to sleep. And I should just take a freaken sleeping pill. But I took one yesterday, and I don't want to become dependent. The last thing I need is to rely on drugs to sleep. I'm trying to avoid the whole "take a pill once a day for the rest of your life" route.

I thought I'd take this bout of insomnia as a chance to be productive. I went into the living room, got my laptop, brought it back to my room, went back in the living room, got my external hard drive, went back to my room, went back into the living room, got my bottle of water, filled it in the kitchen and then went back to my room again (all under the cover of darkness and trying not to make noise for fear of waking my parents, one who is not feeling well and the other who went to bed well past 1am). Right, so after all that going from my room to the living room and back, I figured I'd work on this ugly LES due tomorrow. For those not in the field of education, an LES is a "Learning and Evaluation Situation." Basically, it's a GIANT lesson where you map out all the steps you need to teach in order for your students to be able to successfully complete a final project. For example, in a math class, the final project is: build a pool. Students will need to know how to how big to dig the hole, how to calculate the cost from the price of materials and labour, how to calculate volume, etc.

It's pretty simple for subjects in the faculty of science (at least I think so, since there are so many more clear steps in any given project). I'm teaching ESL, so it's like I have to build all these hypothetical lesson plans assuming either my students will be incredibly dumb or the school will have the most incredible funding. My group and I chose to go with the latter. Our LES is completely unrealistic and we will never be able to use it in public schools in Quebec, but whatever, it's easier this way. In our hypothetical high school, not only will students be already fluent in English (which is SO not the case, even for advanced high school students, who I taught in September during my field experience) but the school will also have a state of the art computer room that is accessible whenever we need it. It will also have at least 15 camcorders to lend out (oh man, I wish this place was real).

It's not that I think what i'm learning in school is useless (although I kinda do), it's that I find we are given all these hypothetical situations and we have to know the perfect answer... but the perfect (in class) answer is hardly ever the one used in real life due to practicality or initial reactions or mostly the unpredictability of everything. When you learn to be an accountant, for example, you have your formulas to complete your calculations. Your number never bully each other, never join gangs at the age of 10, you never catch your number smoking pot on school grounds, you never get sexually harassed by them... You just deal with your numbers and your dumb clients.

Give me a teaching situation and I will give you the best possible solution. I know all the right things to say and the right ways to act. Do you think that makes me feel ready for real life? Hells no. And that terrifies me.

Well, let me at least pretend to be productive this morning...

What movie defined your childhood?

I was born in 1986 (yes, I'm young, deal with it). A lot of my favourite movies were either made wayy before I was born like: Mary Poppins (1964) Blues Brothers (1980), Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) or films that I've embraced as a teen/adult: Fight Club (1999) Moulin Rouge (2001) The Hangover (2009). In terms of my favourite kids films, let's see, there's The Little Mermaid (1989) which I was completely obsessed with for about 3 years. There's also Aladdin (1992), which I adored, but always suspected it wasn't really for kids. What other kids movies were there? Well, a lot.

Disney seemed to have been coming out with a movie per year back in the 90s. There was The Lion King (1994), the live action 101 Dalmatians (1996), Hercules (1997)... all meh... Except one. Now, I didn't realize it at the time, but it truly was groundbreaking. It was a new way of sharing a story that had never been bseen before and is now being taken for granted. A story that involved love, yes, but not romantic. A love between a boy and his toys and the loyalty that those toys show the young boy. Have you guessed what film I'm talking about? One more hint? Okay: it came out in 1995.

That's right! It's Toy Story! Starring Tim Allen and Tom Hanks, this movie was revolutionary. According to the IMDB trivia page for the film, Toy Story was the first fully computer-generated full length film. Now a days, with Planet 51, Shrek, Finding Nemo and about 70 million other computer animated films, we tend to forget about CGI's humble beginnings: the first Toy Story was truly cutting-edge.

The reason I think I love this film so much is because I always thought my toys came to life when I wasn't looking. I would always rush into my room to try to "surprise" them and catch them in the act (of being alive). Of course, I never did catch them. I did, however, imagine that they were in a slightly different position than when I left them. I'm so glad I didn't know anyone like Sid, the creepy/punk toy torturer and main antagonist of the film. I wouldn't have had the heart to keep someone like that as a friend. Such horrible things, that made-up kid did to toys!

All this to say that I am super freaken excited for the new installment in the Toy Story series: Toy Story 3 coming out June 18, 2010. When I saw the full length preview (not just the teaser) before Alice in Wonderland earlier this month, I got chills. I got so excited, I almost cried! The new sequel deals with Andy growing up and his mother donating all his toys to a day care (I think). It seems that life in their new home is not a pleasant as the older toys have lead them to believe. Then, they realize that Andy misses them and decide to find their way back to him. Sounds lame? NOT AT ALL!

Really, I'm so so SO psyched!

(Embedding has been disabled on the trailer... so CLICK HERE to watch it)

And remember, you've got a friend in me.

Cleaning my room, step one.

People don't go in my room. I rarely have friends over to begin with, but when I do we stay in the kitchen or living room or outside (during the summer). The reason for this is that my room is a mess. It's horrible. I have clothes and suitcases and papers and books and jewelery, well, everything on the floor. I've never been good at keeping my room organized. When I was younger, my mother and I would throw everything on the floor and do a HUGE clean-up once a month. As I got older (and had more personal items that I didn't want my mom to find) I told her I'd do it on my own. I failed.

It's been at least 7 years since I rearranged my room into something that I thought was more "grown-up," but all it did was divide my room in two parts: easily accessible and where I dump all my crap. This has resulted in me not cleaning my room properly in at least 5 years. You know dust bunnies? I have dust Godzillas. It's terrifying.

I tried to clean it this summer before taking off for PEI. I managed to put almost everything boxes or giant reusable grocery bags... and then put it on the "dump all my crap" side of the room. I didn't touch my night table or either of my two dressers. In fact, there's one dresser than I haven't used in at least 10 years. it's full, but don't ask me of what, I can't remember.

Today, I made a choice. I started cleaning my night table. I found: info for applying to university (I applied in 2006), medication that expired in 2005, a bracelet I had been looking for since 2007, lip gloss I haven't worn in 3 years and a multitude of empty cream and lotion containers. Why have I been keeping all thing garbage? I filled a HUGE garbage bag with crap from my night table alone! That's not normal!! I can't live like this anymore. The dust can't be healthy and there are books that I know I have and just can't seem to find. I think if I rearrange my room back to how it was (with an open space in the middle instead of having my room divided by my bed) I'll not only be able to keep it more organized but I'll be able to work better (right now, my desk is on the "dump all my crap" half of my room, with books and papers and randomness all over it... and my desk chair is in my closet).

Wish me luck! I'll keep you all posted.

Lactose Free, not soy

Hi, my name is Michèle and I am lactose intolerant. I know, I know, it's the 21st century, how can I be intolerant of anything? I've heard the joke before.

Anyway, fact of the matter is: I have a love/hate relationship with dairy. I love it and it hates me (or my tummy at least). I won't bore/disgust you with with the details of my symptoms... suffice to say I prefer not putting myself in that situation, especially without Lactaid. It's not a cure-all, but it helps quite a bit. I'd rather deal with the "issues" than drink soy milk, though.

Firstly, soy is a PLANT, not something with udders, something that can be milked. So calling it "milk" is false.

Secondly, soy is NOT tasty. People keep telling me it needs getting used to, or it's an acquired taste. Well, milk shouldn't be. I was one of those kids that LOVED getting milk at snack time in elementary school. In high school and CEGEP (until I realized I was lactose intolerant) I would regularly buy milk or chocolate milk in the cafeteria, not because I needed to but because I wanted to. I never understood people who told me they hated milk and pitied those with lactose intolerance or an allergy to it. Now, here I am, unable to enjoy my favourite food group without popping pills first.

Have you ever noticed how many food items (on menus, let's say) contain dairy? I recently went to Montana's and was astounded by the number of entrees that relied heavily on cheese, cream or some other form of dairy. I'm lucky, I can eat most hard cheeses with my pills, but forget about creamy cheese or cream. It bothers me that my only alternative in mainstream restaurants is to have a vegetarian entree (or simply choose to not have one, which is probably best choice). And forget about a dessert and coffee.

Coffee. I love coffee, it has become a necessity in my life: not yet an addiction, but I do believe I'm on my way. The thing is, I'm okay with that. I'd be even more okay with that, if I could get lactose free milk more regularly. As it stands, I only know a handful of places that will offer lactose free over soy. None of these are Tim Horton's, Dunkin Donuts, or any such coffee place. I don't think they even offer soy milk there, but I'm not sure as I never asked.

I feel I have a better chance at places like Starbucks or Second Cup, although it's hit and miss there too. My pet peeve, though, is that when I ask about lactose free milk, I don't want to hear about soy milk. Had I wanted to know about soy milk, I would have asked about it. So far, in the downtown area, I only know of two places that will give me lactose free milk: the Starbucks in Chapters on St-Catherine (corner Stanley) and the Second Cup on McGill College (near Sherbrooke). There are at least 6 other Starbucks' and 4 other Second Cups on St-Catherine between Aylmer and Wood. There are most likely more, but I haven't frequented all of them.

There are other places in the city that do serve lactose free milk: Starbucks in the Chapters in the West Island (on St-John's) and the Second Cup in Fairview mall (also in the West Island). If anyone knows of any others, I'd love to know.