It's been a while...

Yeah, it's been a while. I wasn't really i a blogging mood. I was sad for a while. Then I was busy. I'm still busy, but no long as sad, I think. University is just about finished (I have 4 days of field experience, one assignment and one exam left). The Grad Ball is coming up in 2 weeks and then there's my Convocation on June first (my friend should be coming from Calgary for that!). I'm really excited/nervous/anxious about going out into the real world, as a real adult, with an actual degree and a supposed purpose in life.

When I went to school, I did just that. Everyday (or so). It was my purpose, my goal, I had a clear idea of what I was meant to do everyday (or so). But now, I'm done with (formal) education. I'm a responsible adult who needs a job and eventually an apartment... and isn't THAT a scary thought?

I know, my posts are sooo emo. Bear with me...

I'm really new at this responsible adult thing. I still don't consider myself an adult and I'm somewhat startled when I'm told that I am one. I mean, really.

Well, enough whining, I suppose. Would you like to know what I've been up to? Let's see. My last post was in November... Since then, I've:

• I moved into my own apartment, kind of, upstairs from my parents
  
• Celebrated Christmas. It was nice.
• Celebrated my 25th birthday. It was super nice. I had my family and friends (some from California!) help me celebrate at a fantastic Portuguese restaurant called Porto Mar. You should go.
• Started my last semester EVER at McGill for my B.Ed. I was missing three credits, so I had to pile on an extra class. I'm managing it well, so far.
• I went to the Big Apple, NYC for the first time for a friend's birthday.
  
• Learned to hate something called a SPEAQ Quest. Hate it SO MUCH. FUCK THE SPEAQ QUEST was our motto and I stand by it.
  
• I learned to hate group work. As well meaning as everyone is, work is never divided equally. It's no one's fault, really, but ultimately there's one person who does more work.
• I started my final field experience (and only have four days left).
• I've learned to enjoy reading my favourite novels for the second, third, fourth time.
• I've learned that a little slash fanfic isn't a bad thing.
• I've rediscovered the joys of Stars Hollow.
• I'm still cleaning my room.
  

I think we're all caught up.

Oh, and I'm sick.

Good night!

My goals

My (short term) goals are as follows:

1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.

Let's look at these one by one, starting with... well... the first one.

1. I want my room to be perfectly clean.
Okay, for my room to be perfectly clean, I have to clean it, right? Well, I'm trying. I really am. I'm up to what, part six of my room cleaning saga? This is a goal I can control, and I am controlling it. I'm setting some time aside as often as possible to clean as much as I can. As I clean, instead of just moving things from one side of the room to the other, I'm actually packing it in boxes and reusable bags. This way, I can easily stack, store, and (later) find my books and DVDs (which seem to be the stuff of which I have too much). This way, everything has it's place and it's place isn't randomly strewn around my room. This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.

2. I want to lose enough weight that I feel comfortable in a bikini.
Ahh, this old thing. Yep, the weight thing. So, I'm fat. I'm not delusional about this, it's a fact and I'm okay with it. Well.. not really, if I want to lose weight, right? This is a health thing, not a vanity thing. I'm out of breath all this time, my knees hurt, my heart beats so freaken quickly... I'm too young to have all these problems. Also, I have an awesome tattoo that NO ONE SEES because I'm too ashamed of my fat belly to show it off. So I'm eating better, not dieting. Dieting is a deprivation of certain foods. I'm not ready to (nor do I think I have to) cut out whole items from my daily menus. Instead, I'm eating less bad stuff and more good stuff and making better choices in my day to day life. I'm also exercising more. I'm not going to the gym because a) I'm poor and b) I don't think I need to go to the gym right now. Gyms are great for those with time and money and I have neither at the moment. We have an elliptical at home and if I use it more and walk the dog more, then I think that'll be enough for now! This is a goal that I am in control of. I can (and will) achieve.

3. I want to write (and publish) a book.
I think this may be the easiest of the goals to accomplish. Now a days, anyone can write and then self publish a book. The thing is, I don't want to be a self-published author. I want to be a real author. A good author. I want to write something that people who are not my family and friends will buy, read, and love. My mom says all I need to do is get an idea and run with it, but that's a lot easier said than done. I mean, if it were easy, I'd have already done it. My mother raised a good point by asking my what kind of book I want to write. Well, I have no idea. Whatsoever. Not a clue. But, if I persevere, I might actually succeed. This is a goal that I am in (somewhat) control of. I can achieve it, if I try.

4. I want to go to Hong Kong to do my final field experience.
Seriously, this is a possibility. It would be a DREAM COME TRUE in more ways than one. I'd be teaching in Asia. This could open up a whole new bunch of possibilities: I'd have my foot in the door of a teaching job in Asia. Also, I'd be going to Asia on my school's dime, which really isn't that terrible of thing, is it? Hong Kong is a beautiful city. I really want to be chosen for this... That's right. Chosen. This is NOT a goal that I am in control of. I've written my letter of intent and all I can do is hope that it gets me an interview. After that, I can just pray that I've impressed them enough to pick me as one of the lucky 8 people from TESL to go. I hope I can achieve it.

Cleaning my room, part six

Yep, I'm still cleaning. This is getting pathetic, but at least it's getting done. The main problem is that I have too many books and not enough bookshelf space. The books then go in bags and boxes and then boxes and bags take up floorspace. I'm trying really hard to organize this a little better, though, since I may be moving into my "own place" (and by "own place" I mean my nonna's apartment upstairs).While it won't actually be my apartment, it will be a place to put all my stuff. Hopefully, I'll have room for all my stuff up there!

Do you want to know what I found this time? Let’s see: some extra wristbands from Ships and Dip III, some long lost books, a million socks (not all have partners), school supplies, some American change, books, about a year’s worth of Cosmo (from 2007-2008), some books, course packs and essays from CEGEP, a couple books and, have I mentioned books? SO. MANY. BOOKS!

Okay, I can understand why I have so many books: it’s no secret that I buy a ton of books. If I see a book I want to read, I’ll buy it, I don’t borrow from the library. I also have a lot of books I’ve had to buy for school (textbooks and such). I feel that having many books (that I’ve read and can display and talk about) is a sign of my intelligence. Weird, right? Cause there’s no way I can look smart with my room in a complete mess. It just doesn’t work.

Ugh. Well, I guess I better get back to cleaning. I’ll keep y’all posted!

Cleaning my room, part four

It's been exactly one month since my last "cleaning my room" blog. I haven't done much since then: in fact I think the lack of doing anything made my room regress a few steps. Whatever. Today, I'm finishing the left side of bed, possibly starting on the right side. One of the big things I've noticed though is that I seem to have A LOT of books (and no where to put them). Textbooks, novels, cookbooks... just a lot of books with no home other than on the floor or in a drawer or on my dresser.

Along with cleaning my room, I need to somehow find the time to clean my bookshelf in the computer room. That bookshelf holds my painted ceramic pieces (which are really really crappy and I don't understand why my parents display them so proudly), all my books from before I graduated high school (as in, my La courte échelle series, my R. L. Stine series, my The Cat Who series and my Bruce Coville series), and a couple of CEGEP textbooks. I don't really want to get rid of all this (except the ceramic, it's really crappy), but I don't want to leave it all there either: there's no room. Maybe I should get a bookshelf to go in here when I'm done cleaning? One to match the new bed my parents will buy me? That might work...

I do have some shelves in here, but they serve no purpose, really. The top two shelves are too high for me to reach without a step-stool and the other three house my stuffed animals, my dictionaries/MELS info, my CDs and (surprise, surprise) MORE BOOKS! I never thought I'd say this, but maybe I have too many books?

At least I've read them all. Some, I've read multiple times. And I'm a reader, so it's normal, right? It's a sign of intelligence, isn't it, to have read so many books? Not all of them (read: a very small selection) would be considered "high literature," but I learned in my Sci-Fi class this semester that "literature" is what you make it, not what a critic tells you. A book does not have less value because it doesn't fall into a specific category, every book has something to offer.

K, well, I guess I should clean?

Ugh.